From an early age, we are
taught to share with others. I don’t know how many times my mom yelled at me
and my sisters over this or even how many times I’ve said this to my nieces and
nephews in the past week. The funny thing is, now even as an adult, I am still
struggling with this concept. My husband and I have been married almost two and
half years and even though I am getting better about sharing certain things with
much practice there are still things I need to work on. Marriage really is the greatest
test of sharing, whether it is simple things like the bed (I am a
self-proclaimed bed hog), the bathroom (guilty again!), food, the television (I’m
working on that one too ;)) or more important things like money, emotions,
responsibilities and fears. Now we are facing one of the most significant tests
of sharing in our entire marriage: a child.
Let me be really honest for a second. No matter how
perfect you think your spouse is or how perfectly you blend together with
him/her, you are still two very different people and I promise you will
disagree. You’ve had different experiences and up until your wedding day you
lived different lives. I don’t care how much you were raised alike in respect
to morals, standards or whatever you choose to call them. You still were not
raised in the same home by the same two parents (if you were, I’m pretty sure
that is illegal in most states.) The point is that you bring two perspectives
on how you want to raise your child. Sometimes it is meaningless stuff like “honey
I want the nursery to be hot pink instead of baby pink” (yes this conversation
took place at one time) or “should we
pierce her ears when she is an infant or wait until she is old enough to
decide?” Then there are other times when you disagree on important stuff like
what age is appropriate to start dating, should we make our kids play an
instrument, should we require our kids to read certain books, etc. Even though
our daughter isn’t here yet we find ourselves having these conversations and
not always agreeing on what we want to do. We have learned so much more about
each other as we prepare to be parents to this little girl. We are learning to
compromise where we can and ultimately to share our child and responsibility for
her upbringing.
At the end of the day, I am grateful for the partner I
have in this journey. I’m thankful for the disagreements (maybe not right away
but eventually I get there) and most of all I am greatly blessed with our
daughter. As I anxiously await the arrival of
So
even as I struggle to relearn the childhood concept of sharing, I am confident
that I will get the hang of it. Today I will work on my parenting strategy and
tomorrow my bed hogging, well maybe… ;)
<3 JT
